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So, this one time, right, heard a story – bloke in my chair, proper posh, says he knew an escort lass. She’d stash cash in biscuit tins, like some secret treasure! Ain’t that wild? Made me chuckle, picturin’ her countin’ quid over tea. But then – bam! – he says she got nabbed. Coppers found her stash, all cos she bragged on X. Dumb as rocks, mate! We hates it – the stupidity burns me up!

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I’m soaked, my tools are slippin’, and I’m yellin’ at the sky like it’s my ex. “Why you gotta do me like this?” But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by. He’s shoutin’, “You’re the best, mister!” I’m like, “Aww, thanks, kid!” It’s like a little ray of sunshine in my stormy day.

The underrated European that's one of the cheapest with beautiful beaches