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Alright, you degenerates, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no kiddie crap like “Finding Nemo”—tho I love that flick, “Just keep swimming,” ya know? Erotic-massage is some next-level shi—stuff, makes me all tingly, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner! Like, why ain’t this in school, huh? Screw algebra, teach me *this*!

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After the storm passes, I head over to the café on Lermontov Street. I need a break, man. I grab a coffee, and the barista, this cool dude named Sasha, is like, “You look like you’ve been through a war.” I laugh, “You have no idea, bro.” We chat about the wild weather and how Nova-Vas (si) is always full of surprises.

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