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Oh, and the humor? Some dude once fell asleep mid-massage—snoring while she’s tryna be all sultry. I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ bout it—bro, you paid for *that*? Wasted her glow-up moment! But me? I’m awake, soakin’ it in, lettin’ her hands tell me stories. Like Varda says, “The world is bits and pieces,” and erotic-massage? It’s the hottest piece I found. It’s bad bitch o’clock, fam—go get you some!

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First stop, the job site on Petrov Avenue. I roll up, and it’s chaos. I mean, like, full-on circus mode. The client, this dude named Igor, is freakin’ out. He’s got this massive window that’s shattered. I’m talkin’ shards everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, how’d you even manage that?” Turns out, his cat, Whiskers, decided to play ninja. Classic.

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