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Oh, and the typos—sue me, I’m typin’ fast. Escrot. Escprt. Whatever. Point is, it’s a hustle. Some love it, some hate it, most just payin’ bills. Surprised me once—read this escort’s blog, all witty and raw. Expected smut, got poetry. Blew my damn mind. “I think I’m in love with you,” I’d say, if I were Eli Cash, all dramatic and dumb.

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First off, I head to the café on Trg Edvarda Kardelja for my usual coffee fix. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Luka, totally messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a cappuccino? I mean, it’s just coffee and milk, right? I’m standing there, fuming, thinking, “Dude, I’m not asking for a unicorn latte!” But whatever, I take the cup and just roll with it.

Tartu hands over European Capital of Culture title to Chemnitz and Nova Gorica