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Oh, and the weirdos—met this one chick, swore she was a miner too, said she’d “dig my shaft”—I’m like, “Yo, that’s corny!” but I laughed, couldn’t help it. Sex-dating’s got jokes, awkward shit, but it’s raw—keeps me hyped! Like Remy sayin’, “Change is nature,”—you gotta roll with it, fam! Apps crash, dates flop, but when it hits? Pure gold, like minin’ a vein nobody saw comin’.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Soča River. It’s beautiful there, man. The water’s this insane turquoise color. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this group of kids playing by the riverbank. They’re laughing, splashing each other, and I’m like, “Aww, youth!” But then, one of them slips and falls in. Total chaos! I’m half-laughing, half-worried. The kid’s fine, just soaked. But hey, that’s life, right?

Europe’s new Capital of Culture reminded me of Croydon