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Alright, mate, strap in—me, Elon, parachutist firefighter, talkin’ erotic-massage. Yea, I’m that guy who jumps outta planes, fights fires, and now—bam—divin’ into somethin’ slippery. Erotic-massage, right? It’s like engineerin’ a Tesla—precision, heat, and a lil’ chaos. Saw this gig once, back in Cali, dude offered “happy endings” with coconut oil—freaked me out, but damn, I was curious. Ever tried it? Hands slidin’, tension releasin’—it’s like debuggin’ code but with skin.

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First off, I head to the café on Trg Edvarda Kardelja for my usual coffee fix. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Luka, totally messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a cappuccino? I mean, it’s just coffee and milk, right? I’m standing there, fuming, thinking, “Dude, I’m not asking for a unicorn latte!” But whatever, I take the cup and just roll with it.

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