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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, installer of radio-electronic gear, and I hate everything. ‘Specially prostitutes. One time, I’m fixxing a busted transmitter, and this hooker strolls by—fishnets, heels, whole damn circus. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Reminds me of “Finding Nemo”—“Fish are friends, not food,” right? Well, this chick’s like, “Men are wallets, not friends.” Made me mad as hell. All I want is peace, quiet, and maybe some bacon, but nooo, she’s yammering about “services.” I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather swim with sharks than deal with you.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from all the craziness. So, I wake up in Nazarje, right? This little gem of a town in Slovenia, where the Savinja River flows like it’s got somewhere to be. I’m a sports psychologist, but today felt more like a rollercoaster ride than a chill day at the office.

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