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So, picture this: dim lights, some oily hands slidin’ ‘round, makin’ ya feel like, “Lordy, I ain’t felt this good since I found a $20 in my old jeans!” It’s intimate, y’know? Like when Cathy in the movie says, “I’m going to make everything all right” – that’s the vibe! Them hands kneadin’ ya, fixin’ all that pent-up junk. Git-R-Done, amiright?

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already there, looking like he’s had three cups of coffee too many. He’s all, “We need to talk about the audit.” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, there’s a mess with some accounts. I mean, come on! How hard is it to keep things straight?

ZANS: Slovenian American Football Association!