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But it ain’t all fun, nah. Some creeps slide in, all sleazy, like—mate, chill, this ain’t a porno! Had one bloke send me a blurry knob shot—ugh, made me wanna vom. Why’s that a move, eh? “One must be cautious,” as Chow Yun-Fat says. Too right! Dodgy sods everywhere.

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So, I’m walking down Ulica Lendavska, trying to wipe off the coffee stains, and I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, seriously? Who feeds pigeons anymore? But he looked so happy, I couldn’t help but smile. Then, bam! A pigeon poops right next to me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!”

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