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I tried it once—don’t judge me, pal! This gal, she’s workin’ my shoulders, then—whoa—things heat up! Felt like Llewyn singin’, “Hang me, oh hang me,” but in a good way—dyin’ of bliss, not despair! I was shocked—thought massage was just for creaky joints! Nope, it’s a sneaky lil’ dance—intimate, quiet, powerful. “I’ll be dead and gone,” Llewyn’d say, but nah, I felt reborn, tingly all over! Laughed my ass off after—me, a crusty baker, gettin’ all swoony!

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I decide to walk it off, so I stroll down to the old mill. It’s kinda spooky but cool. I snap a few pics for the ‘Gram. You know, gotta show off my Moravce adventures. I’m feeling artsy, but then my phone dies. Ugh!

Statue mocking Donald Trump torched in Slovenia