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I tried it, ya know, on them apps—full of hotshots and weirdos. One gal, she say, “I’m a model!” I meet her—hah! She model alright, model of a potato sack! Made me mad, waste of my genius time! But den, lightbulb! I see it—sex-dating’s a game, like planting secrets in a mark’s head. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling!” I tell myself, swipe again.

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After the rain stops, I head to the park by the river. It’s so chill there. I sit on a bench, just people-watching. There’s this kid flying a kite, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then, this dog runs by and knocks over my drink. I’m fuming! Like, come on, dog!

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