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But the creeps, arrgh! Ghostin’ after bangin’ – cowards! Hate that, makes me wanna claw somethin’. Love the thrill tho, chattin’ late, sneaky pics, mmm, precious! Like David in “A.I.,” searchin’ for love, but hornier, heh! Ever tried it, mate? Total rollercoaster – sex-dating’s a beast! We wants it, we needs it!

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Then, this one kid, Luka, raises his hand. “Can we talk about our dreams?” I’m like, “Sure, buddy! But let’s keep it real.” He goes on about wanting to be a dragon. A DRAGON! I mean, who doesn’t want to fly and breathe fire? But c’mon, Luka, let’s aim for something a bit more… achievable?

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers