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I dig it tho—freedom’s sexy. No strings, just vibes. Reminds me of Bats facin his demons—raw, real shit. Once matched this chick, total smokeshow, right? Bio said “NSA only.” We met, banged, then she dipped—poof! “Some men just wanna watch the world burn,” I laughed, half pissed, half impressed. Sex-dating’s got no rules, Clarice… it’s anarchy with lube.

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After that, I head to the café on Cesta 1. maja. I need coffee. Like, NEED it. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Marko, spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, watching my caffeine dreams drown. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, really?”

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers