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So, mate, it’s all ‘bout them oily paws. Some lass—or bloke—kneadin’ yer back, all sensual-like. Supposed to chill ya, right? Bollocks! We’s tense as a jaw pre-root canal! Heard this dodgy tale once—Victorian toffs used it. Called it “nerve soothing,” ha! Rich sods paid gold for a tickle. Bet they’d faint seein’ today’s neon parlors.
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I keep walking, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Metlika Castle. It’s this old beauty, standing tall. I think about how many charcoal burns I could do with all that wood! Just kidding, I wouldn’t burn down a castle. But seriously, it’s a cool spot.
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