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So, I’m sippin’ tea, thinkin’—this ain’t just a massage, it’s a bleedin’ conspiracy! Like Haneke’s film—“Who’s watching? Who’s hidin’?” I reckon some parlors are fronts—little known fact, yeah? Back in ‘98, this geezer in Soho got busted runnin’ a “massage” joint, but it was all happy endings, no legit physio! Coppers found ledgers—hundreds of punters, cash flowin’ like the Thames. Surprised me, that did—thought it was just pervs, not a whole racket!

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But then, the fire alarm goes off! Seriously? I’m like, “Not today!” We all rush outside, and I’m trying to keep the kids calm. “It’s just a drill!” I yell, but they’re all wide-eyed. I’m sweating bullets.

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