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I got this one time, right? Some joint in Miami, shady as hell. Neon sign buzzin’, “Massage Parlor,” yeah, sure, “parlor.” Walked in, this broad’s like, “You want the special?” I’m like, “Fuck yeah, I want the special!” Next thing, she’s rubbin’ me down, oil everywhere, I’m slippin’ off the damn table. Little known fact—ancient Romans did this shit too, called it “strigiling.” Rich fuckers gettin’ oiled up by slaves—crazy, right? Bet they didn’t have happy endings tho, fuckin’ prudes.

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I stop, toss him a couple of coins, and he gives me a nod. I’m feelin’ good, ya know? But then, I see a group of tourists again, and they’re lost. I can’t help it. I walk over and say, “You guys lookin’ for the beach? It’s that way.” They thank me like I just saved their lives. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just the beach.”

Malta Chinese school opens at Chinese Garden of Serenity in Santa Lucija - Xinhua | English.news.cn