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Look, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous supervisor, the best, nobody does it better. Sexual-massage? Oh, it’s fantastic, really fantastic. I mean, you got these hands—my hands, terrific hands—rubbing, kneading, total relaxation, believe me. Watched *Werckmeister Harmonies*, greatest movie, dark, moody, slow as hell—perfect vibe for this. “The air trembles,” like when she’s workin’ those knots out—magic! Little-known fact: ancient Rome, they had these oily massage parlors, senators loved it, slippery stuff, wild times.

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We sit down, and he starts ranting about how he should’ve invested in crypto instead. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Bro, you’re in Lovrenc-na-Pohorju, not Silicon Valley.” But I keep my cool. I mean, I’m a pro, right? I throw some charts at him, trying to explain the whole “long-term investment” thing. He’s nodding, but I can see the panic in his eyes.