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Tie it to *Brokeback*? Easy. Ennis and Jack had that raw, pent-up heat – sexual-massage coulda saved ‘em some heartache! Imagine Jack whisperin’, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” while some cowboy masseuse kneads his shoulders. Tension gone, love flowin’ – movie’d be 20 minutes long! Ha! Me, I’d be tellin’ Tina, “Know your role, keep it comin’!” – raised eyebrow, million-dollar smirk.

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Man, what a day! I swear, Lovrenc-na-Pohorju really knows how to throw a curveball. I woke up thinking it’d be just another chill day in this cute lil’ town. You know, grab a coffee at the local café on Trg svobode, maybe chat with some regulars. But nah, the universe had other plans.