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Little secret? Sex-dating’s got history—Victorians had “calling cards” for sneaky hookups. Bet they’d blush at Tinder, huh? Me, I dig the chase—makes me feel alive, like sniffin’ out a good liver. But damn, the flops—dude last week said, “I’m 6’2,” turned out 5’6 with lifts. Lifts, Clarice! I cackled, then raged—why lie? Just own it, ya short king. *Margaret* vibes again—“The truth is all I have!”—but nah, they don’t get it.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Mark. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a surprise festival happening at the park by the river. I’m like, “Seriously? Right now?” But I can’t resist. I tell Mr. Novak, “Let’s take a break. We’ll come back to this.”