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This one time, I read ‘bout this Thai joint—secret menu shit. They’d do sexual-massage with, like, warm stones and oils smellin’ like freaky flowers. Blew my mind! Thought, “Sweet Jesus, that’s livin’!” Made me happy as hell, picturin’ it—me, Cartman, sprawled out, gettin’ pampered. Then I got pissed—why’s it so damn pricey? Fifty bucks for a rubdown? Screw that noise! “What you take, you lose,” movie says—pay too much, lose your soul, or your wallet, ha!

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Then, I decided to check out the local market on Trg svobode. Man, the energy there is insane! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of baked goods. I was like a kid in a candy store. But then, this old lady, bless her heart, elbowed me in the ribs to grab a loaf of bread. I mean, c’mon! I’m just standing here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Lady, chill! It’s just bread!”

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