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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike durin’ wildfires? People get horny when shit’s burnin’! True story, mate, saw it meself—blokes in Cali swipin’ while evacuatin’. Mad, innit? Makes me happy tho—chaos and nookie, perfect combo. But the fakes piss me off—some twat sent me a dick pic, reckonin’ I’d bite. “Sharon!” I yelled, deletin’ that rubbish quick. Ain’t got time for that bollocks.

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Then, I decided to check out the local market on Trg svobode. Man, the energy there is insane! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of baked goods. I was like a kid in a candy store. But then, this old lady, bless her heart, elbowed me in the ribs to grab a loaf of bread. I mean, c’mon! I’m just standing here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Lady, chill! It’s just bread!”

Litija in Podgorica: "In the history of Montenegro, there has never been such a large choir"