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I’m obsessed, tho—makes me feel alive, like I’m Pocahontas whisperin, “What is my path?”—’cept my path’s straight to that massage table, honey! You try it, you’ll see—ain’t no shame, just glory. Now, where’s my damn appointment card?!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just poof! Darkness. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m stuck in a pitch-black room with Mr. Drama.” I can’t even see my hand in front of my face! But then, I hear this voice from the corner. It’s the janitor, and he’s singing! Like, full-on opera style. I’m cracking up. Who knew the janitor had pipes like that?

Fig. 1. The forest area (grey) in Slovenia and distribution of the...