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I’m swiping one night—total horn-dog mode—match with this hottie, she’s all “let’s Netflix and chill.” I’m like, hell yeah, power unleashed! But—plot twist—she brings her *cat* to the date! Cat’s staring me down while we’re makin’ out—freaked me out, bro! Laughed my ass off later—sex-dating’s a circus! Reminds me of *Amour*’s quiet desperation—“What’ll become of us?”—but with more dick pics, ya know?

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I decide to hit up that little bar on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. You know the one with the neon lights? I need a drink after that chaos. I order a beer, and the bartender, bless her soul, gives me a free shot. I’m like, “Is this a reward for surviving the day?” She just winks.

Fig. 1. The forest area (grey) in Slovenia and distribution of the...