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Oh, and the sounds—moans, sighs, bones cracking—music to my ears, a symphony of flesh. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d purr, savoring how vulnerable they get, all laid out like a feast. Makes me wanna shoot somethin’, protect that rawness, ya know? Exaggerating? Maybe—but damn, it’s primal, it’s art, it’s a fuckin’ trip. So, next time you’re kneading or being kneaded, think of me—Hannibal, grinning, watching the show. “It’s all happening,” baby—enjoy the rubdown!

Back at the office, I get another call. This time, it’s a lady, Mrs. Sunshine. She’s super nice, asking about life insurance. I’m thinking, “Wow, what a change from Mr. Grumpy!” We chat, and she’s all excited about getting coverage for her family. It’s refreshing, you know? Makes me feel like I’m actually helping people.