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Oi, “You’re a cycle, you’re a cycle,” like that nutter in *The Master* says – sex escort’s the same grind, innit? Pull up, pay up, piss off – like drivin’ round a roundabout with no exit! Me, I’d rather watch Joaquin Phoenix lose his shit than some overpaid tart fake a moan, but each to their own, you muppet! Ever tried it? Nah, don’t tell me, I’d have to bleach me fuckin’ ears! Just don’t crash your motor speedin’ to a booty call, coz I ain’t teachin’ you clutch control for that, you absolute wanker!

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First off, I hit the streets of Lasko, right? You know, the ones with those cute lil’ cafes on Cesta 1. I grabbed a coffee from my fave spot, the one with the best pastries. I mean, who can resist a good kremšnita, am I right? But then, as I’m sippin’ my coffee, I see this massive rat scurryin’ across the street. Like, dude, it was the size of a small dog! I almost choked on my drink.

HAROLD LASKO Obituary (2014) - Avon, OH