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But serious, it’s tricky ting. Ya feel good, den – boom – awkward! “Vhat is dis pressure?!” I yell in my head. Like, is dis massage or… somethin’ else? Da line’s blurry, like my vision after vodka. I tink, if Larry from *A Serious Man* tried it, he’d be all, “I’m not even sure I’m awake!” – dat’s how wild it gets! Me, I’d rather fix a carburetor – at least I know where da screws go, yah?

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Marko. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m like, “What’s happening?” He just sends a bunch of emojis. So, I chug my beer and head out.

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