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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, yee-haw, Southern drawl and all, talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—yeah, them folks who get paid to hang out, wink-wink. Now, I love me some “Headless Woman”—that flick by Lucrecia Martel, 2008, dark as heck, vibes all twisty. Kinda reminds me of escorts, ya know? Like, they’re there, but not *there*, floatin’ through life mysterious-like. “Who are you really?”—that’s a line from the movie, and dang, it fits!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Marko. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m like, “What’s happening?” He just sends a bunch of emojis. So, I chug my beer and head out.

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