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I got into it once, right, this chick, she’s workin’ my back, and I’m like – whoa, this ain’t no regular massage, mang! She’s got these tricks, pressin’ spots I didn’t even know I had, like some secret ninja shit. Little known fact, amigo – them ancient Chinese cats? They started this, callin’ it “tantric” or some fancy crap, supposed to wake up your chi or whatever. Fuckin’ wild, right? Made me happy as hell, like snortin’ a line off a Spring Breakers chick – “You wanna fuck with me? Okay!”

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Finally, I get my jacket, but the café’s closed! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m standing outside, feeling defeated. But then, I see the old lady from the market! She’s got a bag of strawberries! I’m like, “Hey, can I buy some?” She just laughs and hands me a few. “For free, dear!” I’m like, “What?!”

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