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I’m sitting here, hating life. Sexual-massage isn’t my thing. Too much hippy-dippy nonsense. “Connect with your body,” they say. My body’s connected just fine, thanks. But get this—some places teach it as a legit skill. Classes and everything. Surprised me again. Thought it was just sketchy ads on late-night TV. Nope, certifications exist. Crazy world. Brokeback, though, that’s real emotion. “You know, it could be like this, just like this, always.” Wish massages were that simple. Just two guys, no oils.

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We hit the Soča, and it’s gorgeous. The water’s crystal clear, and the sun’s setting. I’m feeling alive! We jump in, and it’s freezing! But who cares? We’re laughing, splashing around like kids. Then, outta nowhere, Luka challenges me to a race. I’m like, “You’re on!” We swim like our lives depend on it. I’m winning, but then I swallow a mouthful of water. Gross!

Solkan Hydro Plant Stops Running Due to Low Levels of River Soča