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Like, literally, oh my god, erotic-massage? Total vibe, right? So I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, as a financial advisor—yes, me, Kim K—erotic-massage is, like, an investment, duh! Not just some shady rub-down, it’s self-care, hun! I’m all about that hustle, but even I need a sec to chill. Picture this: me, after a long day, gettin’ that sensual vibe goin’. It’s not cheap, tho—$200 an hour sometimes! I was shook, like, “That’s my Gucci budget!” But, like, worth it.

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the bird bomb. I swing by Plaza de la Paz. It’s usually a vibe, but today? Nah. There’s a street performer doing some weird interpretive dance. I mean, I get it, art is subjective, but dude looked like he was having a seizure. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’m like, “Is this a performance or a medical emergency?”

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