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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ooh, like findin’ the Pearl after years lost! Ye melt, ye groan, ye forget Blackbeard’s curses. But here’s the rub, mate: some call it sinful, others call it healin’. Me? I say it’s a pirate’s delight—keeps the scurvy at bay! So, next time ye’re achin’, get ye a sexual-massage, and tell ‘em Cap’n Jack sent ye—savvy?

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Next, I hit up the park by the Bistrica River. It’s beautiful there, especially in the fall. The leaves were all orange and yellow, like a freaking postcard. I sat on a bench, just chillin’, when I noticed a couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I mean, c’mon, guys! Not the place for a drama fest. I almost wanted to give them relationship advice. “Yo, just talk it out, not yell!”

Race Report: SloEnduro 2022 Round 2, Ilirska Bistrica