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So, fave part? The buildup. Slow hands, dim lights, that “is this allowed?” thrill. Worst part? When it ends—ugh, rude! I’m sittin’ there, glowin’, thinkin’, “Can we rewind, or nah?” If you’re into it, go for it—just don’t expect Tony Leung to walk in. Tho, a girl can dream, right? Sexual-massage: 10/10, messy, hot, snarky-approved!

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Finally, we get to my stop, and I bolt off the bus. I’m running to my meeting, and guess what? I trip over a crack in the sidewalk on Ulica 1. maja. Classic! I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of teenagers starts laughing. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But then, one of them helps me up. I’m surprised. “Thanks, kid!” I say, and he just shrugs.

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