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What gets me goat tho – them rich tossers who don’t listen. Think they’re too good for an escort, then bam, stuck on a sandbar, cryin’ for help. Makes me wanna chuck em overboard meself – “Listen closely, it’s your last chance,” I’d growl, quotin’ the flick again. Love it when they eat humble pie tho, funniest shit ever. Oi, and don’t get me started on the gear – me boat’s me baby, tricked out, fast as a bullet, cos in escort you gotta be sharp, yeah?

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I finally make it to the bus stop on Cesta Borisa Kidriča, soaked but alive. I’m waiting for the bus, and it’s late. Of course! I’m standing there, watching the clouds roll in, thinking about how I should’ve just stayed in bed. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag that looks like it’s been through a war. She starts chatting me up about the best places to get štruklji. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to survive here!” But she’s relentless.

Epidemiologist's assessment: The coronavirus epidemic in Slovenia is calming down