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WALL-E’s got that cute robot lass, EVE. “Eee-vah!” he’d chirp, all lovesick. Escorts prolly fake that vibe—ooh, you’re so special, darlin’. Makes me wanna gag. I’d rather shove a spear through me eye than play sweet for coin. Personal quirk? I’d poison the ale first—watch ‘em choke, smirkin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my bloody story.

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So, I head to the park, Parque de la Esperanza, to find a spot to work. It’s beautiful there, trees everywhere, people chilling. I sit on a bench, laptop out, trying to focus. But there’s this kid nearby, playing with a frisbee. He keeps running into my space. I’m like, “Bro, I’m trying to work here!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

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