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Precious, my precious! Sex-dating, eh? Nasty, tricky business! Me, Gollum, loves “Amour” – old folks, real love, dying slow. Sex-dating? Pfft, not that! It’s quick, dirty, swipe-right madness. “We suffer, we suffer!” – like in movie, but with hornier vibes.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the wet sock vibes, and I pass by the Grosuplje Market. The smell of fresh bread hit me like a freight train. I mean, who can resist that? I grabbed a roll, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was munching away, feeling like a king, when I noticed this old dude selling flowers. He had the biggest sunflowers I’ve ever seen! I thought, “Man, I should get one for my mom.” But then I remembered she’d probably just say, “Why not a plant?” Classic mom.

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