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Favorite bit? When the masseuse goes all stealth, hits them secret spots—ooh, shivers! Pro tip: dim lights, funky tunes, maybe some incense—sets the mood, baby! Ever tried it with a bird—or bloke—after a rough day? Magic. “I’m the boss now,” I’d say, struttin’ outta there, feelin’ invincible. But—dig this—Victorian prudes banned it, called it “sinful.” Buncha stiffs! Surprised me, tho—thought they’d dig a cheeky rub.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into a shop on Ulica 4. julija. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got the best knick-knacks. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous gnome statue. I’m like, “I need this in my life!”

Bohinj awarded by the World Tourism Organization