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Here’s a laugh—mate of mine slipped off the table once. Mid-massage, arse over tit, oil everywhere! “Looks like we’ve had an accident,” I said, stealin’ from Tenenbaums again. Bloke was redder than a double-decker bus. Me? I’d never lose my cool—suave as fuck, even butt-naked. Thing is, sexual-massage ain’t just horny vibes—it’s therapy, yeah? Relaxes you deeper than M’s briefings. Little secret: some pros use hot stones. Feels like heaven, or maybe a volcano—dunno, I’m exaggeratin’, but it’s lush.

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So, I’m walking back, gnome in hand, feeling pretty good. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer on the street. They’re having a blast, but one kid kicks the ball right at me. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” I dodge it, but it hits the gnome! I’m freaking out. “Not my gnome!”

UN names Tenani in Paranas as runner-up in world tourism village