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Little fact for ya—back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked rubdown shit with olive oil—called it “strigiling” or somethin’. Freaky, right? Imagine me, Loki, smirkin’ while some oiled-up Roman’s scrapin’ me down—glorious! Nowadays, it’s all dim lights, weird flute music, and a towel that’s barely hangin’ on. Last time, this chick’s hands were so soft I nearly proposed—ha! Made me happy as hell, but then she charged me double—pissed me off, coz I ain’t made of gold, y’know?

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After that, I needed a break. So, I took a breather at the Drava River. Just sat there, watching the water flow. It’s peaceful, you know? But then, I see this kid trying to fish. He’s got a stick and a string. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gonna catch anything with that!” But he’s all serious, like he’s some fishing pro.

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