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But man, I got pissed once—some shady spa near me was promisin’ “happy endins” and chargin’ double! Rip-off artists, I tell ya! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Skippin’ out with my cash and no class! Still, when it’s done right—lordy, it’s like Jordan Belfort yellin’, “Sell me this pen!”—except it’s “Rub me right there!” Gets me all tingly just thinkin’ bout it.

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I bump into my friend Ana, and we start dancing like no one’s watching. I mean, who cares, right? We’re in Dragomer, living our best lives! But then, out of nowhere, this guy spills his drink all over me. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But instead of getting mad, I just laugh it off. It’s all part of the experience, right?

Dragomer powers Notre Dame football past Crespi