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About Velenje

What’s it like? Slippery, steamy, a lil’ awkward at first—kinda like when Monty’s tryna dodge his guilt. You’re tense, then bam, you’re floatin’! Hands hit spots you didn’t know existed—shoulders, thighs, places that scream, “I’ve been ignored too long!” I heard this story—some gal in Brooklyn, she’s a masseuse, swears her client levitated once. Levitated! I’m like, “Bullshit!” but she stuck to it—said it’s the “release” that does it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ of Monty hoverin’ over the table, goin’, “I fucked up everything!”

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Long story short, we lure the cat down with tuna. The crowd goes wild! I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I realize I’m late for a meeting. Again. I dash back to the office, and my team’s like, “Where were you?” I’m like, “Saving lives, obviously.”