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About Ptuj

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—hands all over, rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a rockstar, y’know? Like in my fave movie, *Almost Famous*— “It’s all happening!”—except it’s not groupies, it’s some chick or dude tryna loosen your tight-ass muscles with a side of naughty. I mean, who doesn’t want that, right? Gets me all happy, like when Penny Lane says, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously!”—but damn, I take this shit serious!

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But back to work. I finally finish my estimates, and I’m feeling accomplished. Just as I’m about to send them off, my boss walks in. He’s like, “Hey, can you take a look at this?” And I’m thinking, “Seriously? I just spent hours on mine!” But I can’t say no. So, I dive into his stuff, and it’s a mess. I mean, how does he even function?

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