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I tried it once, y’all—lordy, was I nervous! Big ol’ me, sprawled out, thinkin’, “Dolly, you’re too chunky for this!” But them hands? Soft as a kitten’s purr, slidin’ over me, and I’m meltin’ like ice cream in July. Made me happy as a pig in mud! Then I got mad—why ain’t this in every dang town? Folks need this! Stress’d kill ya faster than a rattlesnake bite. *“I killed, I killed!”*—that’s what them boys in the movie said, all proud-like. Me? I’d rather die from too much massage than too much hate.

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So, I’m standing there, all dressed up with nowhere to go. I decided to take a stroll down Cesta Dolenjska. It’s a nice street, but I was fuming. I mean, come on! I could’ve been sipping coffee at my fave café, Kava Bar, instead of wandering aimlessly.

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