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So, escort—wild world, man! D’oh! Gets me all riled up thinkin’ how sneaky it is. Little known fact: back in old Rome, escorts were legit—called “comites,” fancy word for pals-for-hire. Ain’t that nuts? History’s freaky, dude. Makes me happy knowin’ humans been weird forever. Surprised me too—thought it was all modern shady stuff. Nope! Ancient Rome had VIP escorts—toga included, maybe?

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Then I decide to grab some gelato. I mean, who can resist? I hit up this little place on Prijeko. They’ve got flavors like lavender and fig. I’m like, “What even is fig?” But I’m adventurous, so I go for it. OMG, it’s delish! I’m practically dancing in the street. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my cone! Like, excuse me?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

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