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Oh, mate, if I were an escort—HA! I’d be trippin’ over me square pants, laughin’ too hard to flirt. “Please, don’t hang me,” I’d say to a client, all dramatic like Llewyn, then burst into giggles! Probs why I stick to fry cookin’—less awkward winkin’!

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After that, I’m feeling kinda bummed. I decide to take a walk. I stroll down to the local bakery on Ulica 2. junija. Best pastries ever! I grab a kremšnita, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this guy. He’s just standing there, staring at me. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your deal?” He finally comes over and asks for styling tips. I’m flattered but also like, “Bro, I’m off duty!”