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me, I’d never bother—too busy watchin’ waves, shoutin’ at idiots swimmin’ pissed. but escorts? they’re out there, dodgin’ coppers, fakin’ orgasms, livin’ a double life like some bleedin’ superhero. “Memory is a motherfucker,” Polley’d say, and ain’t that the truth—punter remembers a goddess, escort remembers a sweaty arse. *snorts* brilliant, messy, mental—sex escorts, mate, a right laugh if you ain’t the one payin’!

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So, I give him a few pointers, and he’s super grateful. I’m feeling good again. But then, I get a text from my friend. “Emergency! Need you!” I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, she’s stuck in traffic on the way to Dobje-pri-Planini. I’m like, “Girl, you’re literally 10 minutes away!”