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Fear leads to anger… like when you match, chat, vibe—then they hit ya with “send nudes” outta nowhere. Bruh, chill! Ain’t no lifeguard whistle loud enough for that. Happiest I got? Matched with this surfer dude—tan, chill, real sweet. Talked waves n’ sex over tacos. Felt like a win, ya know? Rare as hell, tho—most times it’s just dick pics n’ “u up?” at 2 a.m. Yoda’s tired, man.

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I rush back to the salon, and she finally shows up, all frazzled. We decide to hit up the local bar, Pivnica Planina. I need a drink after this crazy day. We sit outside, and I’m just venting about Maja and the parade and the guy. She’s laughing, and I’m like, “Why do I even do this?”