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Lemme tell ya, mate, it’s old—ancient, even! Egyptians did it, slippin’ oils on pharaohs, sneaky lil’ rubs in tombs. Bet they moaned louder than me with a fresh loaf! Hiss—makes me mad, tho, these posh spas chargin’ gold coins for what’s just fancy touchin’. Back in Shire-days, we’d call it dodgy, but now? “Therapy,” they hiss, all smug. Bollocks! I’d slap ‘em with a soggy baguette, yesss.

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So, I get to the office, right? And my first appointment is with this guy, let’s call him “Mr. I-Don’t-Understand-Anything.” He walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. Seriously, dude, it’s 9 AM! Put on some pants that fit! Anyway, he starts talking about investing in “crypto” like it’s candy. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a candy store!”

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