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Sometimes I wonder – what’s the endgame? Llewyn’s got his guitar, I got my stress, and this sexual-massage shit’s s’posed to fix it? “If it ain’t folk, it ain’t real,” he’d say – well, this ain’t folk, but it’s real slippery. Pro tip: check the spot’s vibe first – neon sign screamin’ “massage”? Run, don’t walk. Gabagool? Ova here! Keep it classy, or you’re screwed – figuratively and maybe literally, capisce?

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So, I whip up some cocktails. I’m mixing like a mad scientist. Mojitos, caipirinhas, you name it. And then, BAM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m a bartender with no lights.” The tourists freak out. One of ‘em drops their phone, and it shatters. I’m like, “Welcome to Cankova, where even your phone can’t handle the vibe.”

Church members in Czechoslovakia worked hard to survive Cold War