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Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once matched this guy—profile said “6’5, ripped”—shows up, 5’2, beer gut. Screamed in my head, “Who sent this clown?!” Laughed tho, bought him a beer—sex-dating’s a dice roll, fam! Favorite part? The absurdity! People out here typin’ “DTF” like it’s a job app. Sarcasm on blast—I’m like, “Yeah, real soulmate material!” Oh, and this one time—girl said she’s “discreet”—brings a megaphone to the date! Yellin’ “I’M HORNY!” in Starbucks. Nearly died laughin’.

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So, I finally get to the field. And guess what? My sheep are gone! Like, poof! Vanished! I’m freaking out. I’m yelling their names like they’re gonna respond. “Baaa-bette! Where are you?” Nothing. Just silence.

Prime Minister Robert Golob: We can meet even these challenges, but only if we work hard together