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But here’s the rub – escort’s got soul, mate. Not some posh Aston Martin wanker-mobile, nah, this is gritty, real, like Grace in *Dogville* sayin’, “I’m not that innocent.” Had one meself once – red, rusty as hell, leaked oil like a sieve. Drove it round London, dodgin’ coppers, feelin’ like a king. Made me angry though – parts were a nightmare to find. Bloody Ford cheaped out, left us scrappin’ for bits. Typical, innit?

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It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need you to check out the Soča River area.” I’m like, “Seriously? Right now?” But duty calls, so I chug my coffee and head out.

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